The Ultimate Guide to Wedding Thank-You Notes: Timelines and Etiquette You Need to Know!

Wedding Thank You Card Etiquette

Let’s start with the obvious: anyone who gives you an engagement, shower, or wedding gift should receive a thank you note, even if you thanked them in person. If people contributed to a group gift, you’ll want to write each person an individual note. Even if a guest didn’t give you a gift, you should still send them a note of thanks for attending.
 
If you received a gift of cash, check, contribution to savings accounts, or a donation to charity, make sure to thank that person. You don’t need to mention the specific amount, but it lets the person know you received the correct amount. And of course, you should say what you plan to do with the money in your note.
 
Remember to thank your parents (or anyone who contributed financially) to your wedding. Some guests will mail you a gift after the wedding, so if something arrives after you’ve already thanked a guest for attending, remember to send them a thank-you note.
 

Others to Thank

• Your wedding party: Let them know how much you appreciate their support by attaching a warm personal note to your gifts for your bridal party.
• Wedding shower or party hosts: It’s best to write these notes within two days of the event. Plan to thank each host individually with a note and a thank-you gift.
• Those who perform acts of kindness: You should thank anyone who assists you before, during, or after your wedding. For example, if your nephew performed usher duties at your ceremony, you’ll want to thank him. Or if your co-worker helped cover your desk while you were on your honeymoon, you should thank her, too.
• Suppliers and vendors: There’s no need to thank everyone you hire for services. Consider sending a courteous note of thanks to those who exceeded your expectations.

When Should We Write Thank-you Notes?

It would be best if you planned to write your thank-you notes within three months of your wedding date. The three-month rule still applies if you receive gifts before or after your wedding from those who cannot attend.
 
Vendors should receive thanks within two weeks of your wedding. If you’re traveling on a honeymoon right after your wedding, plan to write thank you’s no later than a week after you return.
 
You may have heard that couples have a year from the day they receive their gift to thank the gift giver. However, the one-year timeline is actually a myth. Sending wedding thank you cards this late may cause your guests to assume you’ve forgotten about their gift or presence at your wedding. This can cause hurt feelings or, worse, resentment. So show your guests your appreciation without hesitation!
 

A Simple Way to Get Your Thank-you Notes Done

Writing thank-you notes as gifts come is much easier and simpler! If everyone brought their gift to the wedding or sent them around the week of the wedding and you feel overwhelmed, write your notes in batches.
 
Write five a night and have your spouse write five; this knocks out 70 in a week! That’s so much easier than writing hundreds of thank-yous during the weekend.
 

Can We Send Digital Thank-you Notes?

Experts still recommend that couples send their formal invites and thank-you cards in the mail. “Sorry to tell you, email is not going to cut it. Take the time to hand-write a note and make each one personal,” says style and trend expert Amber Harrison in a video for Wedding Paper Divas.
 
Your guests will definitely appreciate the time and attention it took to hand-write, seal, and mail each thank-you note. And there’s nothing sweeter than getting snail mail!
 

Personalize Each Thank-You Note

Avoid using fill-in-the-blank cards or pre-printed cards. A “one-size-fits-all” message doesn’t properly recognize the work, attention, and honor that went into your friends and family members’ gifts. It’s best to use store-bought thank-you cards or personal stationery.
 
If you’re going the fancy route and using monogrammed stationery, make sure it reflects your current name. So, you’ll need to wait to use your married monogram until after your wedding.
 
A handwritten, individually personalized note is the proper way to go for this particular thank you. That means no phone calls, emails, and definitely no texts, video messages, or generic posts on your Instagram!
 

Thank You Notes With Photos

One of the couples who got married at our rustic wedding venue asked their photographer to take a photo of them holding up a “Thank You” sign.  They plan to use this photo on their thank you note to each guest.
 
We love this idea, but the timing can be tricky. Ask to have the cards made quickly so that gifts given before your wedding won’t be kept waiting for a card. If you plan to send photo thank-you cards but receive gifts before your wedding, don’t delay writing thank-yous to those gift-givers because you’re waiting for your card order to arrive.
 
If you’re in love with the idea of showing a photo of the two of you on your cards, you could use a photo from your engagement shoot or other special occasion. You’ll receive them much earlier from the printer, so you can use them both before and after your wedding.
 

Rough & Ready Vineyards

Couples often praise Rough & Ready Vineyards for making wedding planning a breeze. Our transparent wedding packages and the Something Borrowed Barn allows us to provide services in an easy-to-understand format with no hidden fees or service charges.
 
Our wedding package includes many essential items and takes care of setup and cleanup details. For instance, we provide and set up tables, chairs, and a dance floor for your wedding ceremony and reception. At Rough & Ready Vineyards, we encourage all our couples to take full advantage of all we offer. Let us help you with your wedding planning and on your wedding day! Get started by checking our available dates for your wedding, learning about our pricing, or booking a complimentary tour:

Editor’s Note: Research and copywriting by Heidi Keefer.